Showing posts with label Getting Rid of the Guilt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Getting Rid of the Guilt. Show all posts

5.22.2009

Getting Rid of the Guilt - Week 2 + Binky Update

Binky Update
This past week, Al and I have been on a mission to begin weaning Jakey from his obsessive need for his "bink-bink." We started slowly by asking Jake to please pull his "binky out" in the event that he still had it in his mouth when he woke up in the a.m. Then, we hid it out of plain view until naptime. He was allowed to have it for naptime, car rides, and bedtime over the weekend. Then, while I was gone during the week (awesome conference I will blog about here later...) Alan took it up a notch and eliminated "binky-time" during car rides. So when I picked the kiddos up from the sitter's house yesterday, I expected Jakey to sit still in his car seat while I buckled him in, just like a perfect little angel, without so much as one request for his binky... but no.... I was mistaken. I couldn't even make it INTO the sitter's front door before he was frantically searching in his diaper bag for the stupid thing! ugh. Two steps forward, one step back I suppose. Of course, if Al had picked him up, the turn of events would probably have been different, but oh well. We'll keep working on it, and of course I will post some updates as we try to make some progress!

Getting Rid of the Guilt - Week 2
While I was out of town at the CYFAR (Children Youth and Families at Risk) Conference with colleague and friend Tricia, who is one of the most intuitive people I know by the way, we took a lovely Water Taxi ride across Baltimore's Inner Harbor. Of course, being the mommy that I am, I made the comment to her about how selfish and guilty I sometimes felt doing things without Jake and Marissa. To add insult to injury, this trip was a business trip - Tricia and I were presenting a workshop at the conference and here I was, away from my entire family and enjoying Baltimore without them... and.... gasp..... Having Fun Without Them due to work! Tricia just smiled at me and said "No, you just think that it might be more fun if they were here." So true! And yet, I still feel guilty whenever I have fun without the kiddos. My totally unscientific theory is that this stems from all of us parents wanting our children to experience the things we couldn't experience when we were younger. (Case in point - I never traveled further east of Indianapolis until I was 20 years old.) We want them to see all that there is to see of the world and experience it's many fascinating differences, to revel in all that the world and it's people have to offer. I can not wait until the day Alan and I can pack up the kids in our minivan and drive cross country - out to the Grand Canyon, Rocky Mountains, the great Mississippi and more! Isn't that what it is what it is all about, after all? .... exploring the unknown with your family by your side? But that was not the case on this trip, and I think I've come to terms with that. Our children need to understand that while family time is what binds us all together, the time that we spend apart also plays an important role in shaping us as individuals and enriching our lives. I couldn't help but think after I returned home last night that Marissa would not have been old enough to appreciate the beautiful small-town charm of Baltimore and Jake wouldn't have even remembered a bit of the trip anyway. So after putting everything into perspective - no more travel-apart guilt for me. No, sir. It's honestly okay for me to have fun without the family, they will all have plenty of their own traveling adventures in the years ahead. :)


5.15.2009

Getting Rid of the Guilt - Week 1

As a working mommy, I often find myself being a little well, lax, on certain issues the pop up with our kiddos from time to time. Why do I find myself giving in to things a little too often? Probably because 1) I am physically, emotionally, and intellectually exhausted each day after I come home from work, 2) I honestly find it hard to concentrate on the kiddos' various issues long enough to efficiently deal with them! and 3) I feel a twinge of guilt everything I look into my children's faces, knowing that I choose to be away from them at least eight hours out of each day Monday - Friday. It is because of the latter reason that I am now on a personal mission to "get rid of the guilt" over the next few weeks.

This week, I'm going to break down and force myself to come to terms with the fact that my Jakey boy is no longer the infant he used to be and must.... I mean MUST be broken of the needy relationship he has with his pacifier. I recently browsed through some of our latest photos on the 'puter and he has that darn red binky in his mouth in almost every single one. I never had this issue with my daughter - she refused a pacifier even at a very early age. And so I would catch myself thinking snide things about parents who carted their older children around with binkies protruding from their mouths. And now I find myself being that parent!... and feeling like a complete hypocrit in the process. But this weaning thing needs to be done in baby steps... for mommy AND Jakey's sake. :( He has an extreme tendency to become very attached to many things that he comes across... I mean, the child sleeps with THREE blankies, THREE stuffed animals, and his binky for goodness sake!!! So.... this weekend will be the dawn of a new "day" for us and Jakey will be starting the weaning process from his beloved "bink-bink."


Wish us both some luck!!








One of the few recent photos of Jakey without his "bink-bink."
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