Things I Love Thursday: Life Lessons

My daughter received her first life lesson this week.... in kindergarten.  I honestly did not think I would have to worry about Marissa getting in trouble in school until, well, maybe never.  She's always been such a brown-noser people pleaser and teacher's pet. While Marissa can be a challenging kid, she's a good kid.  Well, this week we both received a reality check.  Her teacher e-mailed me and mentioned that another girl in the class returned after school had dismissed with of all things, Marissa's lunch money.  And get this... Marissa had given it to her, as well as two other girls.... all $20 of the money that was to go into her lunch account.  Ugh.  What's worse, when I questioned her about the incident, she denied it.  She's not a good liar.  Double ugh.  It was at that moment when she started stammering about God-knows-what-story she was making up at the time and looking back at me with pleading eyes that I thought to myself... "What do I do now?"
I knew that she was lying, it was obvious.  She knew better than to give away $20 of money that was not hers to give.  I had never had to deal with such a large situation like this one with her and I was kind of at a loss as to what to do.  I started to panic... What would my mother do?  Would I handle it the same way?  What would a good mom do?   Then I gave up and channeled my momma-instinct and went with my gut.  I told her that I was sorry, but didn't believe her story and that I knew she was lying. I told her that it was wrong to give things away without asking permission. Then I told her that she could spend the night in her room with the light off until she was ready to tell the truth.  Then..... all hell broke loose.
According to her, I was a horrible mom for not believing her and she wasn't afraid to scream this at the top of her lungs.. for quite a while.  Then came more made up stories, and more time in her dark room.  After three (or maybe four??) hours had passed she finally came around.  Yes, I am well aware she gets her stubbornness from me...  She cried big crocodile tears when she told me she was sorry and that she did indeed give the money away.  She was sorry that she had lied and she knew that it was wrong to give her lunch money to friends.  In a way I was very proud of her.  She had learned her first major life lesson and understood the mistakes she had made.  I had learned a lesson too.... I think once we "grow up" (heh) we forget about all of the mistakes we had to make along the way to get to where we are, to be the people we have become, to learn from those mistakes and to not repeat them.
So after the confession, it was time to come up with a punishment.  This has equaled out to be a packed lunch for two weeks - she is not allowed to purchase lunch because she gave the money away... (she was allowed to purchase lunch at school twice a week before the incident), no TV or computer use for one week and an apology to her teacher and friends at school today.  Of course, I am second guessing myself with how I handled the entire situation, like I always do.

What do you think?  How have you handled similar situations with your children?  Anything you would have done differently?  I am all ears...

For more Things I Love Thursday posts, visit thediaperdiaries.net

Visitation Schedule Cards

Last week, I was fortunate enough to come across the livinglocurto blogsite.  I am always fascinated by graphic designers... the endless talent and creativity that they possess and that I want mostly.  Amy didn't disappoint.  While browsing her blog, I came across her wonderful morning routine cards.  These cute little cards are sure to be a time saver for me as I get myself and two whiny sleepy children ready and out the door by myself each morning!  I can't wait to try them out this week!

Amy inspired me to create some handy cards for myself.  Marissa (daughter) has been asking for a copy of her visitation schedule that she could read (she's only in kindergarten... and I don't ask much of her obviously.. hehe) for some time now.  So, what easier way would there be than to create cards modeled after Amy's templates that were color coded, picture coded and easily readable?  I'm really happy with the way they have turned out and most importantly of all, so was Marissa.  She loved the purple and pink theme - as well as the picture on the "mommy" cards.

Because I know that resources such as this one for blended families are hard to come by, I'm making them available for anyone and everyone who wishes to have a copy of their own for their children.  Just open the link, print, cut out the cards and put them in the order needed for your child's schedule.  This post will contain a link for the purple and pink cards, while more boy-friendly color-coded cards will be posted soon!

My hope is that these cards will help make you and your child's life seem a little less hectic.  :)  Click on the link below to view and print - it's FREE.

Visitation Schedule Cards (for girls)

It's the Most - Busiest Time - of the Year!

Despite the magic of the season, the holidays are always fraught with busyness and stress for most moms, and I am not the exception. The entire month of December tends to go by in one big - "oh my God did I forgot to do that again!!" - blur for me every year. Since my daughter was born almost *gasp!* 6 years ago, Christmas has lost a little bit of it's luster. Don't get me wrong, I still love the holidays... spending quality time with family, eating great food, and savoring every moment of the kids unwrapping their presents on Christmas morning. What stresses me out the most during this time of the year are all of the events that tend to be crammed into just a few weeks. December is a hellaciously busy month for my family. Along with the usual gift-buying and food-making craziness comes my brother in law and grandpa's birthdays (Christmas Eve) and my daughter's birthday (Jan. 4th.) This year add to the list that my husband and I are hosting a New Year's Eve get together - which is something I've always wanted to do (which is great, but you know what I mean about "adding this to the pile"... and ... oh great - now I'm rambling...) :)

At any rate, even though Marissa's birthday is in January, it sneaks up on me EVERY YEAR! It usually hits me two or three days after Christmas, when I start thinking about New Year's and all that entails... and I think - "Oh crap!!! Marissa's birthday!!!" Then the craziness ensues.... I try to find the time to go shopping (didn't I just get DONE doing this??), once I'm finally at a store I stare in bewilderment at the empty shelves (did I really think they were going to restock Dec. 26th?) and then send the party invites out about two days before the actually party is to take place (if the guests are lucky, anyway.) So this year, in order to try and prevent all of this mayhem from happening for the sixth year in a row, I've been trying to plan ahead. And where has this gotten me? Well, let's see.... the two birthday gifts that I had already bought ahead have turned into Christmas gifts because Jake's pile of gifts looked to be about three times the size of Marissa's.... and when I asked Marissa what she would like her party theme to be this year she has gone from Jasmine, to Pocahantas, to Strawberry Shortcake, to American Girl (you get the picture)... so needless to say, invites have not been started and party supplies have not been purchased. Ugh.

To save my sanity, I am actually thinking of only getting Marissa two gifts for her party this year and then taking her to our annual birthday Build-A-Bear store trip a couple weekends after her birthday. This would give me a HUGE chance to just b-r-e-a-t-h-e after the holidays. It's not like she needs to get ten presents for her birthday right after Christmas or anything. I guess the goal for my holiday season this year is to try and stress-less, and then hope that my family can pick up on that and I may not turn into the almost gray-haried monster I usually am by New Year's Day. I want to be able to take the time to stop and smell the pine -- to be able to enjoy Christmas this year without have to think of a million birthday-related things in the process. However, now that I think about it, I guess the invitations aren't going to do themselves...and Marissa has yet to pick a party theme. Oh, poop. :P

Fitting In

I had my first run-in recently with the dreaded "public school social scene" and it wasn't pretty.

Something happened yesterday that I never thought would happen.... well, at least not until my daughter was in middle school... or high school.... Anyway, Marissa came home from school yesterday very upset. It took almost two hours for her to finally talk to me about what was bothering her - and an argument with her brother over who could tickle whom was the catalyst for her opening up... this is how our conversation went -

(Jake not wanting to be tickled) - "No, sissy, no! Owwwwwweeee."
(Marissa) - Jakey doesn't want to play with me either, I'm having such a bad day."
(Me) - "Why do you feel you are having a bad day sweetpea?"
(Marissa) - "Nobody would play with me at recess today AGAIN and now my baby brother won't even play with me either. I'm having the worst day ever!"
(Me) - "Ummm...... why didn't you play with anyone at recess?"
(Marissa) - "I asked everybody and nobody wanted to play with me! I had to just sit by myself on the ground."
(Me) - Speechless from having ugly flashbacks of instances when I was picked on in school.... and by the fact that I cannot think of anything to say to help her feel better. :(

I never thought this would happen to Marissa so soon and I'm really perplexed as to how a little girl who has always been a social butterfly can feel like she doesn't fit in with her classmates. One of my theories is the "big fish, little pond / little fish, big pond" theory - she went from being the "leader" of her preschool class to feeling like she can't find her place amongst her new classmates. But how in the world do I explain this to her? And what can I say to her to help her cope with all of the instances this may happen in the future..... because I know very well that this will be something that happens again... whether it's tomorrow or ten years from now when she ends up in one of those oh-so-great (not) high school girlfriend spats. :( I think the key is for Marissa to feel confident to be herself, but I'm not sure how easy it will be to teach this life skill to a kindergartener.....

I did have an inkling that something was up one day when I was home with Jake (he had a fever) and we went for a little walk in the afternoon when he felt better. Marissa's class was actually outside for recess when we went past the school. She didn't see us, but I spotted her right away and my eyes followed her as she skipped all over the blacktop in-between the equipment. I expected her to be playing or talking to any of the kids at any moment... but just kept on skipping around all by herself. She would stop here and there to look around or to sit down, but she never once went over to socialize with her classmates. This really concerned me because I had never seen her do this before; but I tried to convince myself that I was overreacting and that she would be fine. But when she became so upset yesterday, it made me realize that this just might become a real issue that we will have to deal with fairly soon.

Maybe I am overreacting... maybe I am just a concerned mommy who's heart aches when her daughter is upset over friends and school.... I'm just like any mommy. I know what makes my daughter unique and wonderful and wonder why on earth others can't see these things for themselves. No matter what, I need to do some research on this to find some strategies to help her cope. I honestly never saw this coming so soon and feel like such an incompetent mom for not knowing what to do to help her through it.

The Night Before Kindergarten...

Dear Marissa,

Tomorrow is such a big day in your little life. Tomorrow you will begin kindergarten and a new and exciting chapter will begin for you. This is terribly cliche, but it seems like just yesterday I was taking one of our 3 a.m. "walks" around the living room with you... making a figure eight from the front of the room to the dining area, into the kitchen, and back toward the front door. I would always take a peek out of the front door window to see if any other lights were on in the houses on our block.... hoping that I wasn't the only one awake in the world at that ungodly hour. I can still smell the wisps of your baby shampoo and hear your rhythmic breathing as you would (finally) fall asleep in my arms. Up the stairs I would trot... very, very carefully... and say a little prayer as I went to lay you in your crib. Without fail the moment your head hit the pillow you would wake up, let out a little cry, and reach for me with your pudgy little arms. Of course at the time I was so frustrated I would wish for you to be older, even 5 maybe, so that you would finally be able to fall asleep on your own, without our nightly ritual. There are times I would give anything to repeat one of our walks. They were some of the most peaceful moments of my life.

There have been many changes in our life since those long nights. But you have never lost your spunk, fun-loving personality, or your stubbornness. You have grown into such a smart little girl who is always up for a challenge. I can already sense that we have a teacher's pet in the making. :)

You are so excited to begin school and already love your teacher (even though you've only met her twice!) I am excited for you - and for our family. Some of your greatest memories, adventures, and friends will be products of your school years. Some our families greatest memories will be made from your school activities, sports, events, etc. I can't wait to watch you at your first band concert or to help you get ready for your first prom. This milestone seems like such a monumental one, but when I think about all of the other exciting milestones to come, it really puts this one into perspective.

No matter how many milestones we cross together, you will always be my little Marissa-girl.

I love you so much,

Mommy

How to Survive a Seven-Hour Baseball Game... with Kids in Tow

Hubby and I had been planning a special trip to watch our beloved Cincinnati Reds for quite some time... and Monday (Memorial Day) was THE big day! The forecast called for a "chance" of a pop-up thunderstorm, which in Ohio weather-language means "85% chance nothing will happen" so we took the bet and carted both of the kiddos down to Cincy. Neither of us had a clue, mind you, as to how the kids might act and/or if they would both make it until the end of the game. Jake is typically pretty laid back - however - the starting time for the game was 1:10 = 10 minutes AFTER Jake usually goes down for a nap. So we were going to go with the flow and hope that he didn't turn into a sleep-deprived monster by the sixth inning!

Without boring any anti-sports fans out there, I will say that the first inning was very exciting! The Reds scored 5 unearned runs by the end of it - pretty impressive if you ask me - and we were there to witness it! Our seats weren't bad either... which proved to be a blessing when the sky above us darkened in the fifth inning and rain started coming down (we were under the overhang.) Drats! Blah! Ugh! Now what do we do with two figgity kids who have missed their nap? Jake was already getting to the "slap-happy" point (as we like to call it in our household) - you know, the point when you are past exhaustion and don't actually know what you're doing? He was there - big time. The dude behind us knows this all too well after having his knee angrily slapped multiple times by our Jakey boy. Our sweet, innocent little boy began wailing on any vulnerable victim in his sight... the men in front of him, beside him, and of course, behind him. So with the threat of a long rain delay looming and still 4 1/2 innings of baseball left in the game, Al and I had to switch to survival mode. Here is how we (and our little troopers) made it to the end of the game without sacrificing our sanity:

We headed straight for the food - after the lines died down. The Great American Ball Park now has $1 concession stands - would have been the BEST THING EVER if Marissa wouldn't have begged for cotton candy ($4.50) and a soft pretzel (also $4.50) which when combined cost more than all of our other food - Ugh. At any rate - eating kept the kids occupied for almost 45 minutes - SCORE!

I then spotted a slew of gumball and other toy machines. Which, at first thought, might seem like a bad idea to go stand by, but actually it was quite the opposite! Marissa was allowed to pick out one toy machine to put her quarters in - the small little bauble that came out kept her occupied for another 20 minutes or so while Jake tried like crazy to figure out how people were getting the gumballs out of the gumball machine - it was too cute to watch!

We spent the rest of the two-hour rain delay walking around the stadium and checking out different views of the baseball field. Jake loved this - but Marissa could have cared less. She may have asked "Can we go home now?" about 10 times by that point.

Once the rain let up a bit, we made our way back to our seats (which thankfully, were still pretty dry) and watched the field crew roll up the tarp. I tell you what, I never thought that it would elicit such joy and excitement from Marissa! Holy cow did she think that was fun to watch. We were relieved when the game started 20 minutes later - but we still had all of those innings to get through and by this time - well, it was almost din-din time for the kids. But Al and I made sure we kept the kids involved and interested in the game by doing what parents do best and exaggerated everything. We danced everytime a song came on, we roared "Charge!" everytime we were cued to, we pointed out our favorite players to the kids (Adam, we love you man!) and we let Marissa run down to the Reds' dugout to try and catch a ball at the end of every inning.

By the time the game was finally over, the kiddos had made it through a two-hour car ride, five hours of baseball and 2 hours worth of a rain delay and were to say the least, POOPED! Jake fell asleep 5 minutes after he was buckled in. Marissa, being the stubborn mule that she is, kept herself awake by playing her Leapster the entire way home.






I guess when all is said and done, it pays to get creative to pass the time and to let your kids know that you are there to have fun with them - even if the game doesn't go quite as planned. If you learn to "go with the flow" your kids will be likely to adapt right along with you... :)















Jake, a born & bred Reds fan couldn't take his eyes off of the game!
















Family Photo by the dugout.

Time Keeps on Slipping...

Marissa, my little Marissa girl, graduated from preschool this past Friday night. She and her classmates were dressed in white caps and cute little white capes. They sang songs they had learned throughout the year, watched a slideshow of special moments their teachers had captured, and presented all of us lucky mommies with beautiful roses. It was a night that I will hold in my heart forever. It seems as though a page has turned in our family's life... our oldest child has closed the door on one chapter in her life and is on the doorstep of beginning another. Wasn't it just yesterday that I was walking her around the house at 3 a.m. in a desperate attempt to lull her back to sleep at two months of age? Marissa has always been what some would call a "challenging child" or a "handful." But her challenging temperment has turned into a blessing as she has grown into a vivacious, full-of-life 5 year old who somehow always seems to be the pulse or the heartbeat of our family. She is always willing to lend a helping hand, play a game of "bay-bowl" (i.e. baseball) with Jakey, or immerse herself in whatever lessons Alan and I are trying to teach her on a daily basis. She loves life and she loves learning. I can already smell a teacher's pet in our midst...

And I can't really explain why, but sometimes when I step into her room late (way too late) at night on my way to bed, I watch her sleeping and begin to miss the 3 a.m. "walkathons" in our little living room... when it was just her and I, quietly walking our routine path back and forth, back and forth. I didn't realize it at the time, but those were some of the most peaceful moments of my life.

Congratulations sweetpea, I am so very proud of you.








Marissa on graduation night with her teachers.











Marissa receiving her diploma. Sorry the picture is pretty blurry - Alan accidentally had the camera on the wrong setting! :(

Warning: Garage Sale-'n May Suck the Life Out of You!

This past weekend, Al (hubby) and I thought we would be adventurous and explore uncharted territory by hosting a garage sale during the craziness that is the Tipp City community garage sale day! Adventurous, yes - crazy, definitely! We were very fortunate, however, that we did not have a mob of people in and out of our garage all day long - we were spared due to being the only sale on our street :)

While I do not have photos of the garage sale itself, I do have a couple shots of Marissa's lemonade stand. She was quite possible the best salesperson I've ever seen! Garage sale shoppers couldn't even make it a third of the way down our driveway without her sprinting toward them and begging *ahem* asking them if they would like some lemonade. She also had the (genius) idea of putting her gumball machine on the table as well. All in all she made almost $20 total in less than two hours. Now that's what I call workin' it! And you gotta admit - who can resist a five-year-old selling lemonade that is passionate about what she does? :)




* This last photo was my view for most of the day - me stuck in the garage while Jake frolicked in the yard. :)

While we did make quite a bit of money (Marissa wasn't the only one who made out like a bandit!) it was hard work. I felt like I had been hit by a mac truck Sunday morning and I think Jakey boy felt the same... he showed it by sleeping a total of 7 hours during the day and waking up with a runny nose - poor thing. I think we'll sit next year out.... or just let Marissa do her specialty: offer the suckers... uh... garage saler's, some refreshments. :)